A Snoop Around the Coop

Many of you have asked to see THE SET-UP. Those of you who aren't backyard chicken-keepers probably don't give a rat's ass what our coop looks like, and that's understandable. I was once like you, back in the days before I caught the sickness (so young!...so free!...). But for chicken people, there's kind of always this underlying curiosity that comes with the chicken-keeping territory; we like to know how other people do their chickening. Coops are fascinating. Especially after a few cocktails.

So. I'm finally letting you guys have a snoop around ours. We've been in the midst of what is probably our fifth renovation in five years, so it's only now to the point where it's feeling a little bit photo-ready. Yeah, you read that right. Five renovations in five years. You want to know why? It's because we didn't know what the hell we were doing in the beginning. We've learned us some stuff. And we keep figuring out how to make things work a little bit better. Plus, anyone who knows me knows I love a good home makeover. And it costs a little less money to take my DIY angst out on the chicken home instead of the people home. Just a little less. My husband might disagree with me on that.

First things first: though we free-range our birds during the day, I gave up letting them free range our entire property after about a year. There were two main reasons for this. Firstly, they have their own damned ideas about how my garden should look and if I turned my back, they would implement their plans with frighteningly swift and thorough devastation. Secondly: hawks. The more wide open the area the chickens hang out in, the more likely aerial predators are gonna have a go at them. We had some close calls. So, we have a small garden at the back of our property that is fully fenced and hemmed in by tall shrubbery where they can free-range comfortably and not only be fairly well-protected from predators, but are forced to keep their grubby little chicken claws off my main garden. We call it, unsurprisingly, the Chicken Garden. I let them out for supervised romps in the main garden quite often--especially during happy hour. Which is why the usual soundtrack to garden happy hour is muttered strings of expletives as I shoo the brats off of one plant or another. 

Beyond that jumble of climbing roses right there is the fenced-off chicken yard (and the roofline of a neighboring house--yay for tiny suburban lots). The gate into the chicken garden is the original front door of our 109-year-old home (it wasn't actually a door that was solid enough to actually be a front door, so instead of scrapping it, we repurposed it here).

We've tried every type of permeable and non-permeable pathway leading into and through the chicken garden. Aside from one concrete version that worked nicely but then had to be torn out because of drainage issues, the chickens have destroyed every single other one (bark, pea gravel, gravel-gravel, enormous river rock gravel, flagstone)--if you give them anything that they can possibly kick around, they will kick it around. Not only will they kick it around, but they will excavate camouflaged holes in it for you to repeatedly roll your ankles in. This boardwalk is the best thing we've tried (though some would argue that pressure-treated wood is full of chemicals, yadda yadda, but YOU GOTTA DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO).

As I stated earlier, the chicken garden is located down a lovely little path, just beyond our garage at the very back of our yard, essentially spanning the entire width of the property. Just inside the gate is where you'll find the frog fountain and my collection of monochromatic bird houses. Because where else could I put them?

Stay on the path and it veers right passed the coop and will come to a sitting area at the end of the path. Hang a left at the froggie fountain and you'll go to what is essentially a storage yard behind the garage. More on that later.

The struggle is real.

We insulated and soundproofed the coop and designed it so the ventilation (and any chicken noises) get funneled straight at us and not towards any of our neighbors in order to minimize any lovely, early-morning hen-hollering that may or may not happen when the birds are ready to be released but I'm trying to pretend like I can sleep in. And by 'sleep in' I mean 6:30 am on my lucky days. HUZZAH TO CHICKEN-KEEPING!!!!

The coop features a small attached run, which really isn't something we use very often. It's basically chicken jail for anyone who's being naughty, but it also allows us to lock up the chickens if we are leaving before dark and won't be back early enough to safely lock them up in the main henhouse (though they put themselves to bed at dusk, it's risky for them to be sitting in their coop with an open door because: raccoons, coyotes, and bears, oh my. Yep. We live in Los Angeles and this is a very true story.). The run has a pass-through door to the roost area, and while the entire space is a bit snug for my birds to live in full-time, it's fine as an infrequent method of locking them up without fully locking them up before dark as needed. The henhouse is divided into an upper roost area (where the girls sleep every night), with an attached set of nesting boxes (that hang off the opposite side of the henhouse from the run, for easy access), and a lower storage area that can be converted into a separate brooder area when we assimilate new birds into the flock (the lower area can be locked off and opened into the run so that new birds have their own roosting and run area and can be safely introduced to the existing flock from behind bars).

The run features a living roof because I like to squeeze in as much garden as possible where the damned chickens can't get to it. I tend to fill this planter, (as well as the one on top of the nesting box cabinet on the opposite side of the henhouse) with herbs and edible flowers that can be used in cocktails. The tiny planters on each side of the main coop door are filled with succulents (safely out of reach of the birds, as well), as these little containers dry out too quickly to grow much else in them.

Beyond the coop, in the far corner of the garden is a comfy little lounge spot, with a bench and pillows and small table to set a cocktail on.

This is where I start to get really loud questions about: WHAT ABOUT ALL THE POOP!!? HOW DO YOU KEEP IT SO CLEAN?!!! First of all, I'm a bit of a neat freak-- I go to great lengths to keep things tidy so that I can come out here with a cocktail and not have to do too much cleaning in order to not feel icky about drinking a cocktail. That means, on a normal, day-to-day basis, I keep the bench, pillows, and table covered with a drop cloth. So when I want to come and sit down, I whip off the drop cloth and toss it aside and I have a perfectly clean place to sit and drink. Also on a normal day-to-day basis? I'm out here cleaning up at least twice a day. And furthermore? When I go about taking photos, I CLEAN UP THE POOP FIRST. People seem to get upset about this. Like I'm not being 'real' enough by cleaning up first--but listen, I would never ever invite someone over to my house and not clean up first, if possible. So why would I not do that when I am inviting people in from the interwebs? And furthermore, furthermore--when I'm hanging out with my chickens and they poop--I CLEAN IT UP IMMEDIATELY (or I put a diaper on them to contain it). NOBODY NEEDS TO LOOK AT POOP. Clean. It. Up. I'm not sure why this is such a mysterious concept. Obviously, if you have fifty chickens, you're not going to be able to keep up with it and there is going to be shit on everything and everyone. But that's why I don't have fifty chickens. Well, that and pesky city ordinances.

Cheers!!!

We've got an umbrella popped up over the girls' feed dishes to offer more aerial predator protection, as well as some sun and rain protection for them.

The boardwalk that runs the length of the chicken garden is rimmed with flagstone and rocks, and then a series of wood stumps (chickens love stumps, don't ask me why). Beyond that is a huge expanse of dirt under some very mature and leggy roses bushes that have fused together into a nice big protective covering for the birds. The rocks help keep them from kicking dirt out onto the walkway, and additionally, they keep the chickens from digging up various herbs and decorative plants I have tucked about (many of which I have to keep protective cages around as well until they reach a certain level of maturity) to add some more greenery to the space.

Grapevines and climbing roses cover the arbor over the garden entry. Frau Farbissina looks absolutely incredulous. That's just how she looks.

Now back to the coop:

The inside of the roost area:

Yep. Wallpapering the coop. It's a thing. Just ask Fresh Eggs Daily.

This wallpaper is actually inexpensive fabric from IKEA that I stapled in place and then gloss-coated like crazy to give it some poop-resistance (before the wallpaper, the walls were just painted plywood, and I find that the coated fabric is actually easier to wipe down than the painted wood. Furthermore, it can be easily removed and replaced whenever it gets too dirty). Incidentally, I used to have floral oilcloth up as wallpaper--which worked great, too--but the downside of oilcloth is that, when it's new, it off-puts some really strong fumes that probably aren't good for the birds. You have to air that stuff out for a long time before putting it into the coop.

Yep. Those are portraits of some of the chickens hanging on the wall right there. My friend's kids painted them and I decided they needed to be hanging in the coop. Obviously.

The nest boxes are built into the wall of the roosting area, into a cabinet that can be accessed from the outside for easy egg-retrieval. Opposite the nesting boxes is a small door that opens into the run when needed.

Here's a look at the separate storage area/brooder beneath the main roosting area. This is a bonus space that we use for storage, but it also has it's own door that leads to the run, so when we have new chickens, they can have a safe roosting area and closed off run to live in while they're being integrated into the flock (because for those of you who aren't chicken-keepers, you can't throw new chickens in with an existing flock--you've got to transition them in slowly. Chickens are bitches).

Between the coop and the frog fountain, the boardwalk splits off and heads behind the garage. This area has been a junk yard for a while, but we are in the midst of adding a whole new and exciting section to the chicken garden. For now you're going to have to just trust me. It's gonna be great.

And there you have it! My favorite little spot to spend happy hour.