Of Fart Eggs and Pisco Sours
Ahhh, the endless joys and mysteries of raising chickens...you think you've seen it all and then your full-sized chicken drops a pint-sized egg for no damned reason. It's just something that happens. Apparently. People have lots of lovely little names for them: fairy eggs (aw.), oops eggs (awwww.), wind eggs (ok.). Or if you have the sense of humor of a second grader, you call them fart eggs. Waaaaay too much.
So obviously, one of my birds left me one the other day, and instead of wasting a lot of time being confused as to why there was a cockatiel egg in the nesting box, I decided to make a drink with it. Specifically, I set about making a miniature Pisco Sour (and I filmed the whole damned thing--you can still find it in my bio page Stories on Instagram).
Some screen grabs:
Yes. That is a chicken behind me and my tiny egg.
This little one actually had a teeny, tiny yolk in it. Usually fart eggs have no guts at all or just whites only. I kind of lost my mind over the adorable little yolk.
Please ignore the wee-wee pad in the upper lefthand corner and concentrate instead upon the miserable fail of a Pisco Sour in the foreground.
And so yah...the Fart Egg Pisco Sour did not turn out. It did not turn out at all. Whether my ingredient ratios were off or the white of this tiny egg was...off...it didn't work.
And I had feelings about it. Specifically feelings of inadequacy. I KNOW HOW TO MAKE A PISCO SOUR DAMNIT. IT WAS THE TINY EGG'S FAULT.
But...I can't stay mad at you, tiny egg.
So I felt very strongly that I needed to redeem myself with a normal sized egg Pisco Sour. So here it is. And if you want to see me actually make it, go watch my IG Stories.
L A V E N D E R P I S C O S O U R
Makes one normal-sized serving.
2 oz. pisco
1 oz. simple syrup
1 egg white
1/2 oz. fresh lime juice
3-4 drops lavender bitters
fresh lavender for garnish and glass rub
First, rub the outside rim of a chilled coupe glass with lavender, pressing the herb just firmly enough to release the fragrance.
There are several methods for shaking up egg white cocktails, but I really like the 'reverse dry shake' method best. Add pisco, syrup, and lime to a cocktail shaker with ice, shake until chilled. Strain the ice from the contents of the shaker, then add your egg white and shake until foamed (about fifteen seconds or so). Another way of doing this is to shake just ice in the shaker first, chill it down, then add the pisco, lime, syrup, and egg whites and shake until foamed.
Once your drink has been poured into its glass, carefully drop three to four drops of bitters across the foam. Take a toothpick and drag it through the dots to create a super fancy design in the foam. Or don't. It'll taste the same. Add a sprig of lavender or deconstruct it like a lunatic and painstakingly place the bits across the foam in a highly artistic yet minimalist design to yield more likes on your Instagram post.
So don't use fart eggs in Pisco Sours. Or any kind of sours. Even if you think it's cute and gimmicky. It's not. And people probably don't like the word 'fart' in their cocktail titles. Just a hunch.
