I get a lot of questions about how I keep my chickens from Godzilla-ing the cocktail garden.

Valid query.

The truth of the matter is that chickens are completely destructive (in an adorable yet evil-mastermind-y sort of way). They hypnotize you with their charming little fluffy butts, and when you snap out of said hypnosis 1.5 seconds later, they have flattened your heirloom tomatoes, de-budded all your petunias, and have not only dug up an entire rose bush, but have miraculously relocated it to the opposite corner of the yard. You are left utterly conflicted; you're infuriated, but strangely impressed. Welcome to garden life with chickens.

Pretty early on I came to the not-so-surprising conclusion that to successfully garden with chickens, you have to pick and choose what they have access to. This is a twofold concept; one must restrict access to important areas, as well as provide protection to prized or important plant materials, and at the same time, you've got to let them have SOME things to destroy. It's a precarious dance. For us, this meant creating a totally separate "Chicken Garden" at the back of our property (some might call this a "chicken yard" but I like to sound fancy), where they are allowed to free range on a daily basis away from the main garden. We still grow plenty of plant material inside the Chicken Garden, but it is all stuff they can maul and kick and peck and dig at to their little black chicken hearts' content. Still, when we plant new things back there, we very often have to provide protection around the plants to let them fully establish (baby plants gots no chance against beakfaces).

Without further ado, I present to you: the Chicken Wire Cloche from Gardener's Supply Company.

One word: lifesaver.

Now, I have actually tried my hand at making my own garden cloches and protective cages out of chicken wire. And I can tell you from personal experience that they are just not as sturdy (or pretty) as these suckers from Gardener's. They're the perfect size for protecting otherwise easily-destroyed seedlings, and for popping over the top of potted plants. You'll need to stake them down in some form or another (I use heavy rocks to pin down their edges), because chickens are pretty smart about moving them around. They're too smart about everything, in fact.

I'm not even exaggerating when I say that these things are the only way I'm able to keep new plants alive in the Chicken Garden. Cloches and rocks. Lots and lots of rocks.

Lavender plant being pecked to death? Put a cloche on it.

Got a pot you don't want disemboweled? Put a cloche on it.

Cocktail feeling a little insecure? Put a cloche on it.

Because I am eternally grateful to the lovely folks over at Gardeners.com for this product (of which I have an ever-increasing collection--YOU CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MANY CLOCHES), I thought I'd give a quick shout-out to a few of my other favorite products of theirs:

Behold: the Farmhouse Ceramic Composter and the Chicken Fruit Fly Trap (Both sitting on the lefthand side of the sink. There's a lot going on in this photo. Sorry. Not Sorry.).

I'm notorious for breaking my kitchen compost crocks. I don't know what it is but I seem to knock them over. A lot. So Gardner's sent me this adorable one with protective chickenwire. It's like they're in my head. Get out of my head, Gardener's. I'm not saying I can't break it because of the chickenwire...but I'm saying it's got a fighting chance.

And let's just talk about this freaking adorable Chicken Fruit Fly Trap for a second:

They come in two colors, and each comes with a set of three all-natural lures (that you put inside their little chicken bellies), and these suckers WORK. No more fruit flies buzzing around your cocktails. Or compost, or fruit bowl...

And have you seen this...?